We have hyper-aggressive demonstrators vandalizing public and private property and attacking the police with anything they can throw. These are hooligans. We also have groups of so-called “patriots,” clubs of reactionary working class people who have a taste for violence, like to play “army,” and are simply spoiling for any fight. They too are hooligans.

How can we contain all this random violence? I suggest we follow the example the United Kingdom and channel all this violent energy into football hooliganism. Yes, we’ve a long way to go. In the U.S., sports fans are generally well-behaved. There’s the occasional fight and spasms of vandalism, but we’ve nothing like the organization, commitment to violence, and militant stupidity of Britain’s football hooligans.

So what can we do? Hockey and basketball are very intense and sometimes give rise to violence, but they are played indoors, so there is not space enough for some real aggro, bovver, and riots. American football is the best option. Aggressive fan clubs, or “firms” as they are called in England, could be formed around professional football teams and violent hatred fomented between these groups. Football stadiums provide room inside for pre-game, half-time, and post-game fights; there is plenty of space for fighting and trashing in the concessions areas, as well as easy access to the environs of the stadium for expanded combat and vandalism.

Many questions remain. Could these clubs be multi-racial? The fan base of most teams is multi-racial, but would this collaboration endure among truly committed hooligan-fans? Would prohibition of weapons in football stadiums inhibit club members’ propensity to violence? Would all political groups be represented in these clubs, or would membership have to be limited to Republicans, reactionaries, and white supremacists?

Many questions and difficulties remain, but football hooliganism is preferable to random riots, so-called militias, and chest-thumping and menace associated with “gun rights.”