There seems to be some pessimism about this Christmas, due to the high cost of goods, the dearth of goods, and MAGA’s suppression of peace and good will. I don’t think that this depression will be alleviated by I.C.E.’s hunt for Santa Claus. 

     Mr. Claus is an alien who enters the United States illegally to work every year. He has been getting away with this for years and years, but that was before Kristi Noem and Tom Homan who deeply resent the cigarette butts and empty beer cans they routinely find in their stockings. They can be counted on to make an all-out effort to track Santa Claus and send a squad of ex-con I.C.E. agents to seize him and remove him to an unspecified site. Santa’s usual reindeer will not be able to protect him. Santa does enjoy a lot of support in the wider community, but will mobs of children be able to keep St. Nick free of the I.C.E. goons?