A while ago we had a small rescue dog named Laddie, of happy memory. The very first time Laddie entered our house, he jumped up on a divan and pissed on it, thus claiming the divan as his particular place, a lookout for watching what was going on in the house and a comfy place for daytime naps.

Laddie was content to have one place to call his own and did not pee anywhere else. But Trump goes around peeing on everything and leaving his name wherever he can. He has most recently pissed on the Kennedy Center and now on a proposed set of new-fangled battleships to be referred to as “the Trump Class.”

Since the U.S.S. Kearsarge of 1900, U.S. battleships have always been named for states of the union. Will this be another Trump innovation? Maybe he could persuade some hyper-red state to change its name to Trumponia? But is not enough. The month of August was named for the Roman emperor Augustus. Now Augustus is no longer famous, and he was a foreigner. So how about changing the name of the eighth month to Trumpust?