14 VII 2020: Billy “the Hangman” Barr

Finally, finally, Billy Barr has “got his man,” “made his bones,” or whatever gangland expression might apply to judicial murder. Billy and others like him have shown amazing patience. They’ve waited 17 years to execute a federal prisoner. Authoritarians with less self-control would have been unable to endure so long a delay and would by now have hosted any number of semi-official lynchings. But Billy the Hangman and Sheriff Trump have waited patiently, using the delay to build up their supply of lethal injections. And now, at last! The only flaw I can see is that the victim was not electrocuted, for if he were to be electrocuted, Billy and Trump could have thrown the switch from the Oval Office. 

To prolong the execution high, Billy has scheduled two more executions for this week. Off course, Billy and Trump are not the only ones getting off on the prospect of future executions. A very considerable portion of Trump’s base has been longing for a return to the good old days of capital punishment, for in these times of sudden and unpredictable change it’s so comforting to get back to “the way we used to do it.” Trumpists everywhere are rejoicing, so we can be sure that Trump will look for ways to stoke this grassroots enthusiasm. Public executions at a Trump rally would be ideal, but are not feasible because of bogus social distancing. However, executions could be shown on real-time television using the protocols of professional football coverage, and there would be no shortage of Trumpists who would want to do the play-by-play.